just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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