The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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