They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
