We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I AM VODKA MAN
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
