We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
