I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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