i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
