K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
