Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
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