hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
