The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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