Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Are my feet made of real feet?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
