Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
