You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
