i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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