the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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