i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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