Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
