can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
