Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
