What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
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