did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
