I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
