I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
