Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
