i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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