Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
