You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
