I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
