Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
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