why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
