you would pick up someone in the library
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
