i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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