She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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