look no pants
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
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Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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