u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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