i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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