I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
