At least make sure they are 18
Why
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
