I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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