woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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