Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
