think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
