i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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