It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I AM VODKA MAN
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
