She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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