Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
