Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I forgot how hot balto sounded
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
