what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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