Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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