I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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