So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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