drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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