been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
