there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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