you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Who did Billy Mays play for?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
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