You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
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I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
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I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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