was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
