im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
