I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
