he puts the penis in happiness.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
