So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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