Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
