I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
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I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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