Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
